Cyberbullying: What You Need to Know to Protect Your Children
by www.SixWise.com
Bullying has caught up with the 21st century. Although the
methods of "old-fashioned"
bullying (name-calling, physical threats) still exist,
kids are now turning to the Internet to torment their vulnerable
peers, in a new type of harassment dubbed "cyberbullying."
What starts out as a prank instant message ... "Everyone
at school hates you" ... can devastate the receiving
child's emotional health.
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This may be the first time that you're hearing about cyberbullying,
but it's not new to schools. In fact, cyberbullying is now
so widespread that "many experts say it is the most disruptive
threat to the school day," according to the ChicagoTribune.com.
Up to one in three teens who use the Internet have experienced
some type of online bullying, according to a 2007 Pew Internet
& American Life study, yet teens are far from the only
ones impacted.
Schools are now including cyberbullying in their student
codes of conduct, and are routinely having students -- even
first graders -- sign contracts vouching for their proper
computer usage.
Cyberbullying: Grounds for Expulsion
Many states are proposing legislation to make cyberbullying
grounds for expulsion and even prosecution -- of the student
and their parents. But what makes cyberbullying unique from,
and some say even worse than, traditional bullying is that
it can cross from the schoolyard into the place even a bullied
student could feel safe: their home.
Because of this, legislation geared at cyberbullying includes
not only that which occurs on school grounds, but also cyberbullying
done from a personal computer or cell phone during non-school
hours, and not on school grounds. Why? Because its effects
have the potential to disrupt school the next day, or even
cause a bullied student to miss school because of the abuse.
What Exactly is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying is an online/cyberspace version of traditional
bullying that can involve text messages from cell phones,
online gaming sites, Web sites, e-mails, instant messages,
and more. According to the National Crime Prevention Council
(NCPC), some of the more common methods include:
Girls are more likely to cyberbully by spreading rumors
or making fun of someone, while boys tend to send sexual
messages or physical threats.
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Sending mean or threatening e-mails, instant messages
or text messages to someone
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Excluding someone from an instant messenger buddy list
or blocking their e-mail for no reason
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Tricking someone into revealing embarrassing or personal
information, then sending it to others
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Posing as someone online and posting cruel or untrue
messages
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Creating Web sites on social
online sites to make fun of another person (a classmate,
teacher, etc.)
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Using Web sites to rate peers (as prettiest, ugliest,
fattest, most unpopular, etc.) or spread rumors
While both boys and girls can be cyberbullies, they tend
to do so in different ways, according to NCPC. Boys are more
likely to send messages of a sexual nature, or to threaten
someone physically online, whereas girls typically cyberbully
by spreading rumors, excluding others from their buddy lists,
and sending messages making fun of someone.
According to many experts, cyberbullying may actually make
up the worst type of bullying: verbal abuse. Studies have,
indeed, found that verbal
assaults are often more painful than physical ones when
it comes to bullying.
"Words can hurt your soul," said Stephen Wessler,
director of the Center for the Study and Prevention of Hate
Violence at the University of Southern Maine.
In fact, according to NCPC, "cyberbullying can seem
more extreme to its victims," and here's why:
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It can take place in the child's home, so there is no
"safe" zone.
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It can be even meaner, as kids may say things online
that they wouldn't say to someone's face.
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It has a greater audience. With one click, a bully can
send a rumor to an entire class, or post mean things on
a Web site for anyone to see.
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It can be anonymous. Cyberbullies can use screen names
to hide their real identities.
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It can occur almost anywhere. Since kids
increasingly use the Internet and cell phones to socialize,
getting away from a cyberbully would mean giving up what
has become an important social tool for many kids.
How to Recognize, and Stop, Cyberbullying
Symptoms that your child is being cyberbullied will be nearly
identical to those from a traditional bully. Your child may:
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Lose self-esteem
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Be depressed
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Lose interest in hobbies
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Have a drop in grades
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Complain about feeling sick
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Not want to go to school, or skip school
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Become socially withdrawn
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Cry easily, talk of running away or threaten to commit
suicide
Stopping cyberbullying, however, is somewhat different than
with traditional bullying, largely because much of it occurs
at home. As a parent, you can help to curb cyberbullying by
teaching your child a few protective measures, including:
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Not putting anything on a Web site, e-mail or text message
that they wouldn't want their classmates to see
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Not giving out their online passwords, even to friends
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Not opening e-mail or text messages that you suspect
are from a bully
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Not sending messages when you're angry
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Not taking part in spreading rumors or saying mean things
online
Finally, there are some practical tips that kids can use
(under your supervision) to stop cyberbullying that's taking
place:
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Restrict who can send you messages (block those who you
don't want to communicate with).
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Restrict others from being able to add you to their buddy
list (and therefore know when you're online to harass
you). This can usually be done by changing your computer's
privacy control settings.
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"Google" your name, screen name, cell phone
number, etc., to find any online postings about you that
may be spreading rumors. You can even set up an alert
from Google to let you know if your name is posted online.
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Report the incidents to your Internet Service Provider
(ISP). Most cases of harassment violate most ISP's terms
of service.
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Report the incidents to the school. They may not have
authority over what occurs outside of school (the laws
are still being formed in this area), but they can keep
an eye out for anything going on at school.
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Report the incidents to the police. If your safety is
threatened, personal contact information is posted online
or you are otherwise seriously harassed online, you can
report the incident to the police.
Recommended Reading
The
Dark Side of Social Online Sites Like MySpace to Beware Of:
Threats to Privacy & Self
Child
Identity Theft: How to Secure Your Kids Against the #1 Fastest-Growing
Identity Theft
Sources
ChicagoTribune.com
September 14, 2007
National
Crime Prevention Council: Cyberbullying
StopCyberbullying.org