Surviving the Tiger of Infidelity Personally & in Business
by www.SixWise.com
Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer and now Tiger Woods are just a few who have made front-page news with their extra-marital affairs, but many more go on behind closed doors. In fact, a study by University of California researchers estimated that 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women have had an affair.
And a separate study by ABC News “Primetime Live” found that 16 percent of those surveyed had cheated on their partner, while 30 percent of married or committed couples have fantasized about it. Further, a USA Today/Gallup poll found that 54 percent of Americans say they know someone who has an unfaithful spouse.
Tiger admitted being a “loser” in player interview … before we knew it.
Media has had a field day with the numbers of his indiscretions …
The above video pokes fun at infidelity, but really it is no laughing matter.
Would your personal or business relationship survive a “Tiger” in their tank?
Would you want it to or be willing to overcome it?
Once recent Gallup poll found that only one in three Americans would forgive their spouse for marital infidelity, and just 10 percent said they would definitely forgive him or her.
Of course, infidelity comes in many more forms than extra-marital affairs, and is a common occurrence in the workplace as well. According to Lousig-Nont and Associates, a pre-employment testing firm in Las Vegas, 52 percent of nearly 7,500 people they tested for honesty admitted to stealing and said they would steal if they had a good enough reason.
In fact, studies show that people are more willing to lie to coworkers than they are to a stranger, often in order to preserve their self-esteem or avoid a threat to their reputation.
With facts and statistics like these, there’s a good chance you, too, may experience an infidelity in a personal or professional relationship (or have in the past).
Why Do People Commit Breaches of Trust?
When infidelity occurs in the workplace, it is often due to self-esteem and attempts to protect or further a person’s own reputation or status. At home, the motivations for infidelity are complex and often vary drastically from person to person, and situation to situation. However, some of the most common reasons include:
-
Emotional or physical needs not being met
-
Conflicts within the relationship (due to finances, values, children, in-laws, career, etc.)
-
A desire for excitement and attention
-
A desire to enhance self-esteem by having more than one partner
How to Get Past Infidelity
After one partner has cheated, does the relationship (either business or personal) have hope? According to most experts, yes. In fact, some relationships may even grow stronger.
“Honest, open communication is absolutely critical when it comes to repairing a relationship that has been damaged by infidelity,” says Rachel G. Baldino, MSW, LCSW, author of the e-book, Loving Simply: Eliminating Drama from Your Intimate Relationships.
She points to advice given by couples therapist Betsy Bergquist, who believes personal relationships "have the best chance to survive an affair if the following steps can be taken:
-
The affair is ended, and all contact with the third party is ended.
-
The one who had the affair is willing to listen to their partner's hurt without being reactive or defensive and also willing to express remorse.
-
The couple is willing to look at the relationship prior to the affair, and both parties equally own the lack of connection and intimacy and failure to communicate dissatisfaction to each other that led to the affair.
-
The couple is willing to look at hurtful childhood experiences and how early childhood family relationships (for example, infidelities in their own families) may be undermining the present relationship."
Further, if your relationship is more important than the immediate psychological damage to your ego and trust, you have the power to make a choice about continuing on with the relationship.
Here Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, further explains how your ability to make choices can help you attract what you want in your life and even move beyond a negative part of your past.
More Practical Tips for Moving Past Infidelity
|
Strengthen Your Mind, Body and Spirit With MySheaNetics.com
SheaNetics, founded by fitness expert Shea Vaughn, blends ancient and contemporary movements with eastern philosophy, creating a stylized approach to fitness designed to improve the quality of today's western living.
SheaNetics realizes your goal is to find total health and fulfillment that is life lasting. This can be achieved by creating harmony in body, mind and self.
Each nearly one hour workout is a new blend of the-best-of-the-best from Yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi, Martial Arts, Gyro-Kinesis, Dance and MORE -- guiding you through unique sequences of movements that strengthen, sculpt, build core, increase flexibility, and boost our mental well-being!
|
If you are finding it difficult to communicate with your partner on the deep level needed to move past an affair or breach of trust, we recommend seeking help from a professional counselor or therapist who is experienced in such matters.
Meanwhile, make yourself personally stronger -- in mind, body and spirit -- by using the SheaNetics mind-body fitness program from MySheaNetics.com. SheaNetics is a unique fitness and self-help philosophy dedicated to providing you with life-improving ideas and the inspirational motivation needed to achieve complete well-being. You can find out more and view an introductory video at MySheanetics.com.
Stretching regularly will also provide you with increased energy levels and an even greater sense of well-being and inner strength. Stretching expert Jacques Gauthier’s Stretching Toward a Healthier Life DVD shows you 15 of the most effective stretching exercises for your physical and mental health, and the full program takes just 15 to 20 minutes a day.
It’s also important to pamper yourself and make sure you’re getting plenty of sleep at night. When you sleep, the stress hormone cortisol is lowered, but when you are sleep deprived, cortisol levels rise. Further, if you don’t get enough sleep your energy levels will go down and you'll be less able to cope with any setbacks during your day.
The Sleep Easy CD -- with music by a renowned meditation music composer with 20 years experience -- will help you find deep rest and sleep if you’re having trouble.
These are inexpensive, self-help, subconscious ways to move your mental state into a more positive place. Ultimately, this will help you to not only move past infidelity and toward forgiveness, but will help your relationship grow stronger with each passing day.
Recommended Reading
Are You at Risk of an Unnecessary Divorce? The Secret Relationship Killer You Need to Know About
Infidelity and Forgiveness: What The Experts Say
Sources
SalisburyPost.com December 3, 2008
Gallup.com March 25, 2008
LiveScience.com May 15, 2006
ABC News October 21, 2004